As I look back over this class and all of the reading and discussion that has taken place I realize that as a society we have a lot of growing to do. As I listened to the book reviews of my classmates I realize how we, as humans no matter what information is given to you, you only see what you want to see. (or should I say what you are ready to see) So many of these intelligent people gave very interesting presentations, but, in my opinion, they did not see the 'heart' of the stories in which they read. Acceptance is such a vital part of being an educator and it frightens me that so many educators lack this quality.
I understand that we are products of our environments and sometimes we can only accept what is important to us and nothing more than that. But what if we all decided to walk a mile in someone else's shoes just for a brief moment? I wonder how many of us would be running back to walk in our own? But the real question is when we get back in our shoes, what would we do to try and help the one's whose shoes we could not endure to walk in? In this class we have looked at so many of the wrongs but have not really ventured into what could be changed/altered? Not just in the lives of those who suffer but in our own perceptions? What could we change about ourselves that would benefit those around us? I guess that should be the ultimate question of the course, huh? Now that you have the information, statistics, and truth what are you going to do to change you?
To answer this question on a personal level I am going to hang up some of my own stereotypes that I have. Judging the parents of my students is a big issue with me due to the fact of how they chose to approach certain situations. I am going to listen to their reasoning first and try to offer a friendly suggestion if it gives them an easier solution. Then I am going to try to be more tolerant of my colleagues, who lack patience with our students. Leading by example is the most effective way to lead someone to change. Last, I am going to be more open to new relationships with people who do not look like me. Upon my return from living abroad I have to admit that I have been a bit stand-offish with people of different races due to the fact of my ill experiences of those who chose to live in ignorance. Upon this revelation within myself, which was very difficult to admit, I realized that by making this change maybe someone would get a clue, as did I, that people are just people. We all desire the same thing no matter where we come from, acceptance. . .
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
#17 - Compensating for age
How old is too old. . .especially when you are dealing with middle school children? The dilemma I see in urban schools is children who are too old age wise for the grade level that they are intellectually placed in. Each year I see a group of kids who are left back for the 2nd or 3rd time in the 7th grade. (mainly due to excessive absences that lead to lack of 'completed' work & instruction) So now they are 14 and 15 years old in class with 11 and 12 year olds. So now you have a host of behavior issues and hormonal frustrations that NO teacher should have to deal with. What is the solution? Socially promote eventhough they are not academically ready? Estabilish alternative schools for these students so that they can get 'caught up' academically with other students who are in the same situation/age? Or push them all out at 16 to such institutions like Dallas Can Academy? How and who is to decide?
Let's look at option one, social promotion. . .well that is what has gotten education into the situation that it is in now. Passing students just because they are too old to be around the younger one's. The injustice in this is that we are setting these kids up for failure, which in most cases, lead to drop out because they are academically unfit to handle the course load in which they are placed in. Let's say we put them in remedial classes to help move them up academically. . .they still are not ready for the standardized testing, because there isn't a 'remedial' version of these test and 9 times out of 10 they don't qualify for special education because they are not in school enough to gather enough data on. Also there are not enough teachers on the secondary level who have been trained to teach the basics of reading. That is a skill that you learn if you are studying to be an early child hood or elementary teacher, not secondary. The expectation is that by the time you get to 7th grade you should be fluently reading. . .but so many times you have groves of students who do not have basic reading skills.
I read that a large urban district is building a school that caters to older students who are on 2nd through 5th grade level, you must be 14 years old to attend and must complete the program by 19. This is a good alternative, but the curriculum is set to be intense. . .no room for absences at all. The only hole that I see in this plan is that it will work for native speakers, but what will happen for those where English is their second language? This is a subgroup who will be left to fall in the cracks. Research shows that it takes 2 years to pick up conversational language, but 5 to 7 years to learn academic language. Again ELL students are at a disadvantage.
Last to push students to such campuses like Dallas Can would benefit them tremendously, but by the time they get there they are already frustrated and fed up with education as a whole. To my understanding there are legal reasons as to why programs of this magnitude cannot accept them any earlier. . .hence the previous option. Also grant funding has been cut to these programs making it harder for them to service the students and keep enough personnel on staff. Its a pitiful situation when programs like these are so needed. Sometimes it feels as though you have to go back to the drawing board all over again. Education as a whole is failing in regards to the 'age' situation and we are sending these people without a halfway decent education and they are a strain on our economic system in the long run anyway. . .so why not invest the money in their education so that can lighten,or better yet, contribute to carrying the load in the long run. . .I know, I know, too much common sense. . .
Let's look at option one, social promotion. . .well that is what has gotten education into the situation that it is in now. Passing students just because they are too old to be around the younger one's. The injustice in this is that we are setting these kids up for failure, which in most cases, lead to drop out because they are academically unfit to handle the course load in which they are placed in. Let's say we put them in remedial classes to help move them up academically. . .they still are not ready for the standardized testing, because there isn't a 'remedial' version of these test and 9 times out of 10 they don't qualify for special education because they are not in school enough to gather enough data on. Also there are not enough teachers on the secondary level who have been trained to teach the basics of reading. That is a skill that you learn if you are studying to be an early child hood or elementary teacher, not secondary. The expectation is that by the time you get to 7th grade you should be fluently reading. . .but so many times you have groves of students who do not have basic reading skills.
I read that a large urban district is building a school that caters to older students who are on 2nd through 5th grade level, you must be 14 years old to attend and must complete the program by 19. This is a good alternative, but the curriculum is set to be intense. . .no room for absences at all. The only hole that I see in this plan is that it will work for native speakers, but what will happen for those where English is their second language? This is a subgroup who will be left to fall in the cracks. Research shows that it takes 2 years to pick up conversational language, but 5 to 7 years to learn academic language. Again ELL students are at a disadvantage.
Last to push students to such campuses like Dallas Can would benefit them tremendously, but by the time they get there they are already frustrated and fed up with education as a whole. To my understanding there are legal reasons as to why programs of this magnitude cannot accept them any earlier. . .hence the previous option. Also grant funding has been cut to these programs making it harder for them to service the students and keep enough personnel on staff. Its a pitiful situation when programs like these are so needed. Sometimes it feels as though you have to go back to the drawing board all over again. Education as a whole is failing in regards to the 'age' situation and we are sending these people without a halfway decent education and they are a strain on our economic system in the long run anyway. . .so why not invest the money in their education so that can lighten,or better yet, contribute to carrying the load in the long run. . .I know, I know, too much common sense. . .
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Blog #16 - Does location matter?
So many times you hear the statement that "It doesn't matter where you come from, but where you are going." Although the phrase does have some truth to it, where you come from does dictate your mindset and how well you receive those things/people that are different from you. I have mentioned many times the location in which I work, a low SES area where the children are raising themselves. Parental voice rarely comes into play unless there is an opportunity to cause havoc for the school or the teachers; or quite disturbingly to voice to the student what they won't accomplish in their life because the parent didn't.
As a coach I see this sad and twisted mind game on the court and field. I have students that have amazing athletic ability. . .and with a little guidance from me and additional outside help, they flourish in their first year of volleyball. So much so, high school coaches continue to watch game after game to monitor their progress, as well as offer them full summer scholarships to volleyball camps throughout the state. Over and over again, I see my students defeat themselves on the court. They are better players in everyway imaginable, but in the back of their mind somewhere they don't believe they have what it takes. I have to remind them that if they didn't high school coaches wouldn't take the time to invest in their skill. Nor with the opposing coaches come to them and ask if they would like to transfer to attend their schools. Nevertheless, they refuse to believe in themselves.
This mind set doesn't stop just in sports, but if bleeds over into academics as well. These students are quite intelligent and have 'street' sense beyond their years. But when it comes to high risk testing, no matter how they succeed on the practice exams, they never come up to their full potiential on test day. My campus has gone so far as to have a dry run of the test two months before the actual test. (the mindset to have it that early is to show the students that they have all of the skills, strategies, and knowledge to do well prior to the exam) The campus is in full testing mode and everything even the lunch procedure is drilled for the entire day. A week later everyone gets their test scores and they look awesome for the whole campus and we purposely don't grade them on a curve. Unfortunately when they take the actual exam, the scores are 10 to 15% lower than the practice exam. As teachers and administrators we walk away scratching our heads wondering what in the heck happened. The students always say the same thing, I thought I did my best or at least I tried. It is a phenomenon that throws me for a loop every year. But the saddest to this whole scenario is that the students always believe the latter score versus the earlier one no matter how many times you try to encourage them that they are better than that, they take to heart the negative; and the parents reinforces it.
As a coach I see this sad and twisted mind game on the court and field. I have students that have amazing athletic ability. . .and with a little guidance from me and additional outside help, they flourish in their first year of volleyball. So much so, high school coaches continue to watch game after game to monitor their progress, as well as offer them full summer scholarships to volleyball camps throughout the state. Over and over again, I see my students defeat themselves on the court. They are better players in everyway imaginable, but in the back of their mind somewhere they don't believe they have what it takes. I have to remind them that if they didn't high school coaches wouldn't take the time to invest in their skill. Nor with the opposing coaches come to them and ask if they would like to transfer to attend their schools. Nevertheless, they refuse to believe in themselves.
This mind set doesn't stop just in sports, but if bleeds over into academics as well. These students are quite intelligent and have 'street' sense beyond their years. But when it comes to high risk testing, no matter how they succeed on the practice exams, they never come up to their full potiential on test day. My campus has gone so far as to have a dry run of the test two months before the actual test. (the mindset to have it that early is to show the students that they have all of the skills, strategies, and knowledge to do well prior to the exam) The campus is in full testing mode and everything even the lunch procedure is drilled for the entire day. A week later everyone gets their test scores and they look awesome for the whole campus and we purposely don't grade them on a curve. Unfortunately when they take the actual exam, the scores are 10 to 15% lower than the practice exam. As teachers and administrators we walk away scratching our heads wondering what in the heck happened. The students always say the same thing, I thought I did my best or at least I tried. It is a phenomenon that throws me for a loop every year. But the saddest to this whole scenario is that the students always believe the latter score versus the earlier one no matter how many times you try to encourage them that they are better than that, they take to heart the negative; and the parents reinforces it.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
#15 - 'School' book summary
In the book that I am reading "Why Gender Matters", the chapter on school gives some very interesting strategies on teaching to gender. And how as teachers we need to be well versed in the language of the opposite gender. For example, the chapter mentions at how girls feel as though their male teachers yell at them. . .well biologically girls hear better than boys and as students have a tendency to sit in the front of the classroom to be a 'good' student. So where the male teacher may be projecting to those in the back of the classroom, to the girls up front it sounds as if he is screaming. The book offered a really cool solution. . .move the boys to the front(since they have a hard time hearing) and the girls to the back. Now I tried this in my classroom but set my room up where the desk were set up in quads and my desk was in the middle of the room. That way when I went to the board, (which is where I sat the boys) it didn't appear as if I was at the "front" of the room. The girls could hear me and I had the boys attention at all times because I was in the center when at my desk and close to them when I was at the board. I thought this was absolutely genius. I also didn't find myself repeating directions to the boys as much as I did before. (who knew)
Coed middle schools causes a lot of grief and leaves quite a few scars on students. Liking someone who doesn't like you back, kids making fun of your due to the ackwardness of growth spirts, and just the overall rage of hormones that overtake the body in this particular age bracket. By separating students by gender in their school setting will eliminate alot of the crazed questions that tend to go through the mind of middle schoolers and keep them focus on the task at hand which is their education. This model of education scales down on the ills of social behavior of students worrying if they belong to the 'wrong' clique. Instead students begin to worry if they are contributing to their community and question their responsibilities in it.
As parent, administrators, and educators continue the push for gender-based schools, especially in urban areas, professional development as to how to relate to students based on their gender is a temporary alternative. By making small changes in how we relate to our students we will see improvements in test as well as overall classroom performance. Cost will always be a factor in the world of education, but it is one that shouldn't cause us to compromise the success and growth of our students. With grant funding and reallocation of current professional developments focusing on gender-based learning should be a direction that education should be headed into.
Coed middle schools causes a lot of grief and leaves quite a few scars on students. Liking someone who doesn't like you back, kids making fun of your due to the ackwardness of growth spirts, and just the overall rage of hormones that overtake the body in this particular age bracket. By separating students by gender in their school setting will eliminate alot of the crazed questions that tend to go through the mind of middle schoolers and keep them focus on the task at hand which is their education. This model of education scales down on the ills of social behavior of students worrying if they belong to the 'wrong' clique. Instead students begin to worry if they are contributing to their community and question their responsibilities in it.
As parent, administrators, and educators continue the push for gender-based schools, especially in urban areas, professional development as to how to relate to students based on their gender is a temporary alternative. By making small changes in how we relate to our students we will see improvements in test as well as overall classroom performance. Cost will always be a factor in the world of education, but it is one that shouldn't cause us to compromise the success and growth of our students. With grant funding and reallocation of current professional developments focusing on gender-based learning should be a direction that education should be headed into.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Blog #14 - We all say Amen. . .
God, Allah, Budda, Om, Ganesha. . .now let's break it down into denominations, sects, and cults. . . getting interested or bogged down??? Religion in education has a very small place based on the legal ramifications that it can bring about. Skills, knowledge, and mapping are the only things the law allow the field of education to give its students. Faith, respect, and culture are the things that are ‘inferenced’ to come from home. Knowing that this is not the case in all children’s lives as educators the most we can do is give a ‘cultural’ lesson, if you will, and if religion comes up, it comes up. (but only momentarily) The respect factor is what hinders our understanding in most topics that are this sensitive in nature. For example, the terroristic attacks that have come to our country are deemed religious in nature. But when you get to the heart of the matter, it has nothing to do with religion at all.
These people, in simpler terms, want the US to get out of their country. Now, I am going to play devils advocate, appealing to your sense of patriotism and love for this country, if another tried to come and implement their version of ‘civilization’ on us wouldn’t we deem it necessary to push them out. Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are some fanatics who take things to far, but the essence of why these believe in what they are doing is because they love their own country, as we love ours?
We teach our students, hopefully, not to take what isn’t theirs. And world history shows us over and over again how many nations have tried to ‘mandate’ what civilization should look like, but in the end both side ultimately lose some part of the battle. Respect is vital in this volatile world and if we don’t learn from previous mistakes it will hinder the next generation in ways we cannot imagine. We must do better as a world society for the benefit of those we have audience with on a daily basis. When looking at the ‘main’ religions they all have the same premise, take care of your fellow man, honor your family, honesty, don’t take another’s life, be charitable, and pray. In this we see our similarities even though there are significant differences, the basis is the same. So why not build on the similarities and follow our faiths and be truthful with one another about our intentions, feelings, and needs.
I know those who may read this may ask ‘what type of utopia is she dreaming of?’ One that we can fellowship and worship as we choose with respect towards each other to do so, oh it’s already in existence, the USA. Why do we have to be reminded that this is what we are founded on? The fact that in this country we are created equal no matter your religion, culture, or gender. So no matter how you slice it, at the end of the day we all say Namo Amida, Selah, Shalom, Amen. . .
These people, in simpler terms, want the US to get out of their country. Now, I am going to play devils advocate, appealing to your sense of patriotism and love for this country, if another tried to come and implement their version of ‘civilization’ on us wouldn’t we deem it necessary to push them out. Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are some fanatics who take things to far, but the essence of why these believe in what they are doing is because they love their own country, as we love ours?
We teach our students, hopefully, not to take what isn’t theirs. And world history shows us over and over again how many nations have tried to ‘mandate’ what civilization should look like, but in the end both side ultimately lose some part of the battle. Respect is vital in this volatile world and if we don’t learn from previous mistakes it will hinder the next generation in ways we cannot imagine. We must do better as a world society for the benefit of those we have audience with on a daily basis. When looking at the ‘main’ religions they all have the same premise, take care of your fellow man, honor your family, honesty, don’t take another’s life, be charitable, and pray. In this we see our similarities even though there are significant differences, the basis is the same. So why not build on the similarities and follow our faiths and be truthful with one another about our intentions, feelings, and needs.
I know those who may read this may ask ‘what type of utopia is she dreaming of?’ One that we can fellowship and worship as we choose with respect towards each other to do so, oh it’s already in existence, the USA. Why do we have to be reminded that this is what we are founded on? The fact that in this country we are created equal no matter your religion, culture, or gender. So no matter how you slice it, at the end of the day we all say Namo Amida, Selah, Shalom, Amen. . .
Blog #13 - SCREAM. . . I'm sick of the community I work in!!!!!
Let me begin this blog by stating that I LOVE my career choice. I love to teach and I love opening minds to the possibilities that are available to them in life . . . no matter where you come from. But I am sick and tired of 'parents' and 'administrators' who blame teachers for the lack of skill that students come to you with. Teachers aren't given credit for bringing these students up to speed and helping them get on course, but blamed for the lack there of. So my question to the parents is 'What in the H*LL have you been doing with this child at home???' Or better yet you didn't think to ask the teachers they had before they got to me? Oh yeah, think of hiring a tutor or looking into the free programs that are made available to this community? No you just decided to come and tell me off about the 'disservice' I am doing for your child, God forbid you were the one 'disservicing' your own child.
How are you a disservice you ask my ‘loving’ parent? By not taking out the time to read with your child . . . no, no, no, that’s my job although I have never met the child before coming to my classroom. How about inquiring about how your child’s natural talent may help them in the classroom . . . no, no, no, that’s my job, even though I only get them 45 minutes out of the day. Okay how about this, teaching your children common courtesy toward others . . . again, no, no, no, that’s my job as far as you are concerned. Teachers have families of their own that we have to care for and need out attention, just like yours, but the deficit in all of this is that you, parents, are not giving your child what they need at home. The only thing they should ever require of their teachers is their education, encouraging words, and a map for them to chart how they plan to reach their goals.
Now to my well trained, forgetful, unappreciative administrators . . . how dare you forget the struggles of the classroom. Of how Johnny couldn’t do his homework because the power has been off in his house for two months. How dare you forget the egregious amount of paperwork that is demanded of teachers on a daily basis besides the management of a classroom of 28 students and making sure that you are trying to meet all of their needs. Again, how dare you forget to support your teaching staff when you yourself had support to get to where you are now. How dare you let central office tell you to run your school as a business and not as a school. Webster online dictionary states that a school is an institution for the teaching of children. Not, how many are here each day so that we can increase our federal and state funding. Not, are we going to meet AYP this term so that we can be ‘recognized’ or ‘exemplary’? Not, no matter the child behavior let him continue to disrupt your classroom. ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!! Okay maybe my aim is a little low, maybe I should be charging these questions to the superintendents of districts, state government, or even federal government, but shouldn’t it start with those who are closest to the child?
Okay as you can see that I have had a horrible week with parents and administrators. Mainly because I have held my students responsible for not completing a portion of their six weeks project over spring break, the portion of the project that they needed to complete was to gather 'TWO' articles from the community section of the newspaper. It they didn't have access to the newspaper, I made arrangements at the local library to donate the paper to the students all the students had to do was to ask one of the two librarians that I made the arrangements with. (Please understand that these librarians are at the library everyday and one of them is the managing librarian, the other the community liaison) Out of 127 students only 63 of them made use of this resource, 28 called on relatives to gain their resources, the rest of them came to class with nothing. So when their progress reports reflected that they were failing 17 parents became upset. (They get a newsletter every six weeks about expectations and projects that are going to take place in my class) The kicker to all of this is that my administrator relays the message to me that I can not fail these students because they have not completed this particular portion of their project. (THIS IS ONLY A PROGRESS REPORT & THEY HAVE THREE MORE WEEKS TO BRING UP THEIR GRADE!!!!!!! ALSO THIS IS A PROJECT THAT IS MANDATORY BASED ON THE CURRICULUM IN WHICH THE DISTRICT HAS SET IN PLACE!!!!!!) If the teacher is making information readily available and you choose not to read it then that is on the parent.
I guess my rant here is really for parents and teachers to get on one accord. I feel that if the parents get frustrated enough with the system and not the teacher, maybe the real changes will take place. For example, why are there people who work in the Department of Education who have never spent time teaching in front of a classroom FULL of children, and those who have, have never taught in a low SES area. For the same amount of proving your worth in the classroom, those who make major decisions for education should go through the same rigorous process. We ask our children to be accountable every day; shouldn’t we put that same accountability on ourselves? Don’t just apply to the teachers, but to the Education Department, governments, districts, administrators, and parents as well.
How are you a disservice you ask my ‘loving’ parent? By not taking out the time to read with your child . . . no, no, no, that’s my job although I have never met the child before coming to my classroom. How about inquiring about how your child’s natural talent may help them in the classroom . . . no, no, no, that’s my job, even though I only get them 45 minutes out of the day. Okay how about this, teaching your children common courtesy toward others . . . again, no, no, no, that’s my job as far as you are concerned. Teachers have families of their own that we have to care for and need out attention, just like yours, but the deficit in all of this is that you, parents, are not giving your child what they need at home. The only thing they should ever require of their teachers is their education, encouraging words, and a map for them to chart how they plan to reach their goals.
Now to my well trained, forgetful, unappreciative administrators . . . how dare you forget the struggles of the classroom. Of how Johnny couldn’t do his homework because the power has been off in his house for two months. How dare you forget the egregious amount of paperwork that is demanded of teachers on a daily basis besides the management of a classroom of 28 students and making sure that you are trying to meet all of their needs. Again, how dare you forget to support your teaching staff when you yourself had support to get to where you are now. How dare you let central office tell you to run your school as a business and not as a school. Webster online dictionary states that a school is an institution for the teaching of children. Not, how many are here each day so that we can increase our federal and state funding. Not, are we going to meet AYP this term so that we can be ‘recognized’ or ‘exemplary’? Not, no matter the child behavior let him continue to disrupt your classroom. ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!! Okay maybe my aim is a little low, maybe I should be charging these questions to the superintendents of districts, state government, or even federal government, but shouldn’t it start with those who are closest to the child?
Okay as you can see that I have had a horrible week with parents and administrators. Mainly because I have held my students responsible for not completing a portion of their six weeks project over spring break, the portion of the project that they needed to complete was to gather 'TWO' articles from the community section of the newspaper. It they didn't have access to the newspaper, I made arrangements at the local library to donate the paper to the students all the students had to do was to ask one of the two librarians that I made the arrangements with. (Please understand that these librarians are at the library everyday and one of them is the managing librarian, the other the community liaison) Out of 127 students only 63 of them made use of this resource, 28 called on relatives to gain their resources, the rest of them came to class with nothing. So when their progress reports reflected that they were failing 17 parents became upset. (They get a newsletter every six weeks about expectations and projects that are going to take place in my class) The kicker to all of this is that my administrator relays the message to me that I can not fail these students because they have not completed this particular portion of their project. (THIS IS ONLY A PROGRESS REPORT & THEY HAVE THREE MORE WEEKS TO BRING UP THEIR GRADE!!!!!!! ALSO THIS IS A PROJECT THAT IS MANDATORY BASED ON THE CURRICULUM IN WHICH THE DISTRICT HAS SET IN PLACE!!!!!!) If the teacher is making information readily available and you choose not to read it then that is on the parent.
I guess my rant here is really for parents and teachers to get on one accord. I feel that if the parents get frustrated enough with the system and not the teacher, maybe the real changes will take place. For example, why are there people who work in the Department of Education who have never spent time teaching in front of a classroom FULL of children, and those who have, have never taught in a low SES area. For the same amount of proving your worth in the classroom, those who make major decisions for education should go through the same rigorous process. We ask our children to be accountable every day; shouldn’t we put that same accountability on ourselves? Don’t just apply to the teachers, but to the Education Department, governments, districts, administrators, and parents as well.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Blog #12 - Discipline 'a chapter for my book summary'
‘What is your secret? My child loves and respects you far more than they do me.’ I have heard this one too many times in my career as an educator, once being too many. Parents seem to have forgotten their authority in their relationships with their own children and some appear comfortable enough to let the teacher know it. This is a gross misjudgment on behalf of the parent and one that should be corrected immediately. ‘Why Gender Matters’ discusses how parents should/can go about disciplining their children in a positive manner and gain the parental control of their household. The book goes on to mention Norbert Elias observations as to how the parental/child relationship has drastically changed over the past three decades. (between 1960 and 1990) Loss of parental authority has only worsened the issues that we witness daily with our children. From teen pregnancy to teen drug abuse, trying to be the friend and not the parent has weakened our children’s respect for authority altogether.
For example, child obesity runs rampant in our society. Partly because instead of just feeding our children healthy meal choices, we ask for their input on what they would prefer for dinner. Common sense would dictate that of course burgers, pizza, and fries will be on their menu, but as I have come to the realize, common sense isn’t all that common. Children want what they want, not what they need especially if you give them a choice. I am not a parent, but I do spend a lot of time with my three year old niece. Now my niece is a pretty good eater, meaning that she loves broccoli, salad, baked chicken, green beans, apples, all in all love fruits and vegetables. But if I give her the ‘choice’ between an apple or a pack of skittles. . .trust that she is going for the skittles. For her overall health I am going to give her the apple, without asking, and after dinner give her a handful of skittles, without asking. Letting her make the decision, in this scenario, is not the most logical thing to do. As she gets older the conversation should and will grow, but when she comes to visit me she will already know that junk food everyday is not an option.
The book addresses positive discipline, referring to using parental authority in positive ways to expose the child to the world or to reward good behavior. (p 172) In other words don’t ask. . .tell. Taking a page out of my own life, all of my friends had their own phone line and television in their room when I was a teenager. So of course I asked my parents for my own, the phone line was a definite no. . .which I understand why now, having the privacy to say what I wanted how I wanted may have led to situations I didn’t want to be in. The television on the other hand was a bit of a compromise, if I worked to purchase my own television I could put it in my room, but I had certain scheduled hours in which I could watch it. There was no eating my dinner in my room to watch my favorite show, that was family time. I couldn’t stay up late on a school night to watch the Arsenio Hall show, lights out meant lights out. If I disobeyed any of these expectations, my parents would take my television for a week. Now this was a television that I paid for myself, but I would rather follow those rules than loose something that I paid for all together. Similar rules applied when I bought my first car, but without those standards in place, I may have ended up like some of those old friends of mine pregnant or not finishing college. Ultimately when it comes to parenting, to each his/her own, but that dynamic changes when a child enters the classroom and in the classroom all rules apply to everyone, no exceptions. How should a parent who caters to their child prepare them for this type of setting?
For example, child obesity runs rampant in our society. Partly because instead of just feeding our children healthy meal choices, we ask for their input on what they would prefer for dinner. Common sense would dictate that of course burgers, pizza, and fries will be on their menu, but as I have come to the realize, common sense isn’t all that common. Children want what they want, not what they need especially if you give them a choice. I am not a parent, but I do spend a lot of time with my three year old niece. Now my niece is a pretty good eater, meaning that she loves broccoli, salad, baked chicken, green beans, apples, all in all love fruits and vegetables. But if I give her the ‘choice’ between an apple or a pack of skittles. . .trust that she is going for the skittles. For her overall health I am going to give her the apple, without asking, and after dinner give her a handful of skittles, without asking. Letting her make the decision, in this scenario, is not the most logical thing to do. As she gets older the conversation should and will grow, but when she comes to visit me she will already know that junk food everyday is not an option.
The book addresses positive discipline, referring to using parental authority in positive ways to expose the child to the world or to reward good behavior. (p 172) In other words don’t ask. . .tell. Taking a page out of my own life, all of my friends had their own phone line and television in their room when I was a teenager. So of course I asked my parents for my own, the phone line was a definite no. . .which I understand why now, having the privacy to say what I wanted how I wanted may have led to situations I didn’t want to be in. The television on the other hand was a bit of a compromise, if I worked to purchase my own television I could put it in my room, but I had certain scheduled hours in which I could watch it. There was no eating my dinner in my room to watch my favorite show, that was family time. I couldn’t stay up late on a school night to watch the Arsenio Hall show, lights out meant lights out. If I disobeyed any of these expectations, my parents would take my television for a week. Now this was a television that I paid for myself, but I would rather follow those rules than loose something that I paid for all together. Similar rules applied when I bought my first car, but without those standards in place, I may have ended up like some of those old friends of mine pregnant or not finishing college. Ultimately when it comes to parenting, to each his/her own, but that dynamic changes when a child enters the classroom and in the classroom all rules apply to everyone, no exceptions. How should a parent who caters to their child prepare them for this type of setting?
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