Open Blog #11 - Travel, Race, & Gender

I love to travel and have lived in a couple of countries that I love, although those two countries are male dominated. Everything catered to men, so being a female, especially one of color, made life a bit difficult from time to time. Travelling through male dominated countries could be very trying at times, especially when you are brokering business deals or trying to handle household mishaps that 'men' are suppose to handle. I just love the phrase 'so this is why you are single' when you get, for lack of a better work, aggressive about your request. Let's take this example, living in Spain a pipe burst in my flat. Well being my Father's oldest child, I knew how to stop the water from taking over and flooding the place. When I called a plumber and explained the situation he came over and asked where my husband was so that he could ask him how 'he' turned the water off. Naturally I said 'I turned it off by this valve' he said 'Are you sure, because if not and I do the wrong thing it will cost extra'. At this point I am laughing to myself and replied, 'yes I am sure because I am the husband who turned it off'. Now understand that there is a language difference here so of course he thinks I have made a mistake. So as he smirks at my 'ignorance' I continue to state that, 'I am not married therefore I am the husband and the wife' to this he looked at me with surprise and asked 'How did you learn to be so handy?' to this I replied, 'My Father raised me to sufficient in all things.' Now I thought that this would end the conversation, but of course it didn't. . .the plumber goes on to state, 'Oh that's too bad, you may never get married, who wants such a strong minded wife', again I reply, 'A strong minded man'. Well, this led to a bright red face and a quick fix of my pipes and a 15% off discount without a thank you.

As I reflected back on this whole scenario, I wondered what I gained out of it? Did I really change this persons mind or did I just upset/embarrass him? I can't answer the question that I have posed, but I look at it this way. . . hopefully he walked away with a better understanding of women. Most importantly what I realized is that it is not my job or my calling in life to ‘change people’s minds. We are reflective of our upbringing, situation, and circumstance, what they believe is what they believe and if those beliefs are founded in ignorance and not in the mindset of people are people no matter their gender or race, then (in my opinion) their mindset is flawed.

I guess this portion of my blog is as good as any time to reflect on my encounters in Japan. There were times that the color of my skin played more of an issue as well as my gender. As I evaluated this issue I had to come to the realization that I was living in a country that did not have a lot of interaction with people who didn’t look like them. All of the exposure that they had to my race was what they saw on television . . . and to be clear, the media perspective of Black America is one that is shameful to say the least. So I found myself fighting and dismantling horrible stereotypes that were portrayed on the television in which they were exposed to. Even more so, those businessmen or ‘other’ foreigners in which the Japanese encountered who took it upon themselves to reinforce those stereotypes the minds of the Japanese. In all of this miseducated chaos, I had to be the light of intellect to ‘prove’ that what they were exposed to was a misrepresentation of my race and even my gender. (I mentioned my gender due to the fact that black women were stereotyped as the ‘seductress’ who is only out for your money and to destroy you) Although there were times when I wanted to tell people to kiss my behind due to the ‘sly’ racist questions and constant repetition of things I have already told you. . . I chose to take the high road and ‘graciously’ answer their questions for the sake of international and race relations.

I guess that is why when I finally moved back to the States I find that I have a lack of tolerance for race issues due to the fact that we have lived in the country for how long and people still don’t ‘understand’ the cultures that live in your own country? As a Black woman who have travelled and endured the stares, questions, and discrimination of other countries, I refuse to stomach it in my own country. . .especially when it is my own country that has displayed these horrific images of who I am ‘suppose’ to be to the world in the first place. So if I am a bit short or indifferent to the ignorance of Americans it is because I believe that they choose to be, so why should I take the time to waste my precious breathe to educated someone who has had the information at their fingertips their whole life and has chosen not to accept, relate, or confirm it for themselves.