Sexual Issues of Gender #6

Gender????? I asked quite of few educators how gender affects their classrooms. Most of them responded by saying that boys are noisy and girls are sassy. Then I asked how gender affects your interaction with your students and most replied “Very careful . . . wouldn’t want any child to get the wrong idea.” Exploring this thought process when it comes to gender in education most teachers of the past, in my opinion, didn’t have much of a preference. Yet over the past 15 years a trend has developed out of fear that has many teachers wanted to teach students of their own sex. Students who have falsely accused educators of sexual relationships and those who have tarnished the profession by being involved with students sexually have caused a great rift in the nurturing aspect of education. What I mean is this . . . to be an educator that takes a certain amount of nurturing for some students to even open themselves up to be educated. With the fear of being accused of being ‘too’ attentive many teachers have shut down and just give assignments and have abandoned the natural instinct to be nurturing all together. For example, in 2003 a first grade teacher in Boston, MA was accused of being cruel to her students when she would just send them to the nurse office if they fell down and hurt themselves, but two years prior was accused of inappropriately touching a student when they fell down and hurt themselves because she gave them a hug to calm the student down. Her question was, “What do you want from me?”

As a 7th grade teacher my students throw me off guard at the beginning of the year by wanting to hug and hang around my desk in search of doting attention from me. Yet I find myself feeding them with a long handle spoon so that nothing I do will be misconstrued. Although I know a lot of my students come from broken and dysfunctional homes and the only safe haven they have in their life is my classroom it saddens me that I choose not to give them the attention that they desire so that I don’t put my career at risk.

Another aspect of gender that has a tendency to come about frequently is homosexuality. There are quite a few students that are open with their choice of sexuality on my campus, which amazes me due to the fact that I am dealing with11 and 12 year old children. They appear to have a grasp on their choice and although they are open on campus they tend to hide it when they get home around their parents. For instance I have a student who let me know that she was dating an older girl. She was quite comfortable in sharing with me her feelings for this young lady and as I responded to her by asking what her parents thought she became terrified with the fact that I might talk to them. I assured her that I would not but did let her know that I was referring her to her counselor so that she could work out her insecurities on the matter. Even though I and the counselor suggested that she sits down and speaks with her parents she was against it in every possible way. This led me to wonder, ‘How could she be so open and free with who she thought she was and not with her family?’

As an educator I have done my best not to judge students based on race, ethnicity, or culture . . . but I have never thought that I have judged them based on gender or sexual preference. I am uncomfortable when students disclose to me that they are sexually active or what sexual preference that they may have. I wish that was a topic that was illegal to talk about within school hours, but unfortunately is not. As teachers we are expected to educate, counsel, protect, nurture, and direct. Yet we are left to decide certain boundaries that won’t offend parents and administration, it is this catch 22 that lead a lot of GREAT teachers out of the profession. I have to go back to the first grade teacher’s question, “As an educator, what do you want from me?”